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When I first got married I said I didn't want to have kids. The old classic line of "Who in their right mind wants to bring a kid into this world". Somewhere along the line the birds and bees and me do what hey do and low and behold the stork dropped one off. Sounded good, right? Lorna was born on 4/15/94 at 4:15 in the morning. I soon found myself a father and really had no clue as to what to do, as most don't. Some years went by and I could tell she was special. Now at 14 and a full blown teenager I can tell she is special still, but some days like last night and this morning, when my bloodpressure is so high from an arguement and I think I'm going to stroke out I wonder if I'm doing anything right at all. I know that our literature tells us that relationships can be a terrible painful area. I would never put down the literature, I just wish there was a chapter on teenagers!!! I have spent the last 24 hours in a heated arguement with a 14 year old who is making me feel like I am the bad guy. That it's all my fault, that I can do nothing right. Though her mother and I do more for her than our parents combined...it's just not enough, can you say Veruca Salt? Spoiled perhaps, maybe, a teenager definately. She was trying to tell me this morning there's no possible way I could know what she was thinking as she looked at me with that look that I was an idiot. The same look I gave my parent when they were giving me the business. I went to bed last night hungry, angry, lonely and tired. The lethal combination that we are warned about. I could not go on. I have had enough. The past 2 days have been all I can bear. I can't handle anymore. I thought she would have calmed down this morning but it picked right back up where it left off. I need to back off the situation and give it a rest, if not for her sake for mine. I don't understand how it is we can go thrrough a period of months with seemingly few problems and an understanding and it melt away in a day. I guess that's where I'm stuck at and I need to move out of it. I remember hearing that cry so many years ago from a newborn......I heard Bob....your life is calling.Today it's difficult to answer, but I have to.I spent to many years not answering. For those of you who sent sympathy wishes my way, thanks alot.I have a memorial service to attend this weekend. I am not fearful of the travel as I have been in the past. I have some reservations about seeing some family members on my dad's side I haven't seen in awhile. But as in the past I need to remember what we are there for. What I am there for. It's not about me, it's about supporting someone else..... Another voice crying out...Bob....your life is calling.I still don't want to answer, but I have to.The ability to face problems is necessary to stay clean. They say there are no "Have To's" in this program. I don't believe that. If I don't tell myself that, who will? I shouldn't have argued with her this morning. My wife warned me, told me I was looking for trouble by the look on my face. I should have listened. I could feel it coming over me like a fever, the anger, the chasing of my point of view. I can't make her see anything. One day she will see things differently and realize that I'm not so full of shit as she thinks right now...... Until then, that voice is still thereBob D.? your life is calling. Take Care.?