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I Almost Had Road Rage On An 80 Year Old Man! |
Superbhosting
| So, today I decided to go to the frigging happiest place on earth, Super Target.I wanted to run through the store like the little erotic and blogging spoiled bitch that I am.I wanted to fill a cart with a bunch of shit I didn't need.I specifically wanted some musical toothbrushes I saw on Regis and Kelly.I wanted to surprise?"Jimbo" with a?sweet little gift for no reason.But I didn't?want some Hannah Montana crap, I wanted some Lil' Kim or Snoop Dog or some Jayzee......unfortunately, they didn't have that kind.Guess you need to be at Walmart for those rapping kind.(okay, that was bad....don't hate me because I am peach colored!)I decided the other day that I will?ALWAYS have my camera with me in the car.Why, you might be wondering?Well, I'll tell you why.It's because I have no fucking life.That's why!I pulled up to the stoplight for the turn into Super Target and who should I see?????????????Lisa the Leaf Collector!Here she is in all of her?big flappy twat,?leaf collecting glory.Okay, you have to look closely to see the back of her head, but sure as shit, that's her:Where are your leaves, Lisa?Oh shit look at all of those leaves on the trees beyond your car!What are you going to do, climb the trees and suck the leaves up with your twat like a leaf vacuum?Gee, that was a nice rant on my bitch of a neighbor by me. : )?I started to follow her around Target like a stalker, but she stopped at the GARDENING section for like fucking forever!Get a life, LISA!Sure, I might take pictures of you without you knowing it and blog about you, but get over your gardening crap!There is more to life than grass and weeds!(well, maybe not for some tokers and those random writers that are addicted to mowing their lawn.?: ))
She's the type of person that you KNOW lives across the street from you, yet when you see her out at some random place?you avoid all eye contact so she won't dare talk to you.I avoided that bitch like a woman with some stomach virus oozing out of her pores.?I hoped to find her in the handheld MASSAGER section, but no, she stuck to rakes....like the hoe she is......har dee har har!.I bought my cartload of crap and left.I was driving home with some Ludacris blaring in my?snazzy car.(holla, Jimbo takes care of his!)?and I was in the fast lane.I'm like that.I'd rather be a leader than a follower and I like fast things.Well, I pulled up to this white car and the man driving was going 51 in a 55 zone?AND in the fast lane.Oh hell to the no!!!!We all know you can go at least 63!There was space for me to get over in the slow lane, but no, that's not the way it's supposed to be and I am all about rules and shit!!!!He should move over!Does he not realize I have no underwear on under this black sheath of a dress I am wearing!(okay, I only go underwearless here on the internet, otherwise it is thong all the way!)?Get it over Grandpa! |
| ?Get it over Grandpa!We inched closer to this intersection and like a person ready to get in a car accident, I lifted up my camera and snapped his picture:Look at that damn empty fricking SLOW LANE!!!It is EMPTY of all crap!Also notice the GREEN light.Well, watch what happens not even a second later.That's right, the light turned?red because he DROVE SO FUCKING SLOW!Look at the water tower in the background of the first picture where the light was green........then go to the picture where we are at the red light and cars have already been in the intersection for like.........FOREVER!Well, I was ready to get home and I?was?so close to home I ccould feel it.My the internet friends were calling out to me.
GREY, where are you?Why aren't you online?Grey, I left you a blog comment!Grey, I just left you a juicy message!Hi Grey, I'm so and so, can I be your friend?Well you COULD be if I could ever get past and around Monica Lewinsky's supposed grandpa!Who wears berets these days and what man does?I said to him......move it on asswipe!I said so many foul things that I should wash my mouth out with a full bottle of Purel hand sanitizer.I believe at one point I even said.....you fricking, frucking, fucker....get your beret wearing, cigar loving daughtered ass over!What in the world?does frucking mean?It made me laugh.I even dissected the meaning of his license plate number, which probably had no meaning at all.......DTF-MDF.Don't Talk Fucker-My Dear Fucker!Funny thing is when I lifted the camera to snap his beret head in a picture, his head jerked up to his rearview mirror.DUH, TURN OFF YOUR FLASH GREY!He did get his ass over in his rightful lane once the light turned green!Thank you very much!Do you have another meaning for his license plate???This could be fun to see some responses.Do you or did you have a road rage moment?Oh......here's a quiz for you after you respond to my blog up above this.Do you all know what is hidden, or not so hidden, on FedEx trucks?I snapped this picture today about one minute before I met up with the beret wearing?ass wipe in the white car.......Is it just by accident this is there on the FedEx truck or is it subliminal messaging by their advertising agency????Let's see who knows what I am talking about.On a side note......see the pick up truck that was in front of me......out here in the boonies, we see that a lot.The driver of this car was eating something as he drove.Guess it's better than snapping pictures though.: ) Hey, I only did it at stoplights.Call this the Stoplight Confessionals.: )
Grey~ |
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Last Updated ( Thursday, 17 July 2008 )
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