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PONDERING - Journal entry 7/24/04 |
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| My Dad died February 14, 2004.?Following his death, I struggled with grief.?Three months later, during prayer, I was led to begin a journal.?Initially, it was to capture memories of Dad that I was afraid I would forget.?In subsequent entries, I bare my soul as healing seeped into my spirit.?Some of this is painful, some of it not prettybut today, I am led to share my healing by sharing my journey through the pain.???
Journal entry 7/24/04
The tears keep coming, often without reason.?Grief is sneaky! |
| Grief is sneaky!?I long for a dream of Dad, but I have had none.?Last night, I dreamed of Gram R.?She was a delightful angel of course she would be!?It has been 8 years since Gram died and I think this is the first time I had a dream about her.?I can only remember a fragment of the dream stupid why can't I remember dreams.?What I remember was that she was an angel, paused in mid-flight, legs bent at the knees, wings half extended kind of like hovering.?She was so happy - giggly so...? |
| She was so happy - giggly so...?Well, I am capturing on paper all that I remember.?I hope I can remember more because I know we had a conversation.?Gram was the only other loss in my life for who I grieved.?I want to remember her too.?Lord, why did I not, grieve for my other grandparents??I loved them too.?Was it because I was young & foolish when they died?? |
| Was it because I was young & foolish when they died??(I took a moment from writing and spent some time reading my Bible)??Lord, you are so awesome!?Right there was your answer to me!!!?Ecclesiastes 7:4 "The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure."If I understand what you are telling me, Lord, you are saying that I was not walking with you when my other grandparents died, but was when Gram R died??I was (for sure!)a fool back in the 70's and early 80's.? |
| a fool back in the 70's and early 80's.?I have definitely gained some wisdom since then, but I have a long way to go.?I pray, Lord, please don't wait 8 years for me to see Dad.?Can I have a dream soon??I am thankful You give me what is your Will.?Amen.To be continued. |
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Last Updated ( Thursday, 17 July 2008 )
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