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The Drunken Narnia Chronicles! |
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| The Drunken Narnia Chronicles
A fantasy saga of nightly alcoholic binges and?meaningless sex that make me a legend in my own mind and a hero to the?mindless sheep?who idolize me.
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Part One- The Pussy, The Bitch and The Closet
It was only until I opened my closet that I realized all my clothes look like Saturday Night Fever wardrobe rejects.Might as well make the best of it ..so I slipped on a faded supergirl t-shirt...just to get in the mood while I got ready.Downed a?vodka/soda and started teasing my hair....where did I put the aqua net???It was lucky I bought a few cases before they discovered the holes in the ozone.I cranked up WHAM on the stereo, took a big snif from a bottle of Hai Karate and walked into my closet to find something to wear..........next thing I remember is finding myself sitting on a bar stool face to ass....my face to the stunning tight ass of a hot male go go dancer dressed in a tiny leopard print g-string, kitty ears and fur boots.He looked barely out of his teens.Even from behind it was easy to see he had a great package.Rawrrrrrr...never thought I'd get into pussy but in this case I'd make an exception and grab?that leopard by the tail.? |
| Rawrrrrrr...never thought I'd get into pussy but in this case I'd make an exception and grab?that leopard by the tail.?I knew he wanted me, all the hottest young dudes want me...but just to be on the safe side I tossed down a couple Manhattans.Yep...now I was drunk enough to be sure he wanted me. Damn I am so awesome.It was then that this skinny little bitch hops up on the bar and starts grinding on my pussy man. Her skirt was ultra short and underneith.....white granny panties!!He tried to back away and she grabbed his ass and pulled it towards her.?I knew I?had to?defeat the white undie bitch and thwart her evil plot to overthrow my hunky pussy man.
Up until then I didn't realize that all I had on was my supergirl t-shirt.Two shots of jager and?I really didn't care.I hopped up on the bar, fists in the air and announced...?"I AM SUPER GAL, I HAVE A GREAT RACK AND EVEN THOUGH I COULD HAVE ANY MAN IN THE BAR, I CHOOSE PUSSY MAN. UNHAND MY PUSSY, WHITE UNDIE BITCH.I BANISH THEE TO THE ALL NUDE CLUB DOWN THE STREET....NOW BE GONE!" |
| I BANISH THEE TO THE ALL NUDE CLUB DOWN THE STREET....NOW BE GONE!"And with that, I bitch slapped the anorexic waif and she flew off the bar and even the cushion from her cotton undies couldn't save her from the cold cement floor.She hobbled away, cowering in fear.I turned around to find not only one hottie, but THREE of the hottest, hunkiest well hung stud muffins I could have ever?dreamed up?in my drunken stupor.They were all less than half my age and their hands were everywhere at once.They carried me off to a fanciful bedroom decorated in red velvet and gold where they pleasured me for hours.I was a wild animal...all inhibitions and performance anxiety quelled by a significant amount of alcohol.After I was fully satisfied 26 times (I remember at least 3), they made and fed me breakfast and then gave me a very special bubble bath where they carefully attended to my every whim.Champagne and dicks were everywhere.? |
| Champagne and dicks were everywhere.?Somewhere during the night I had misplaced my supergirl shirt so after my bath I set off to look for it.I didn't find my shirt but did come across the various toys of the previous night....handcuffs, rope, vibrator, lube, a zorro mask, sword, catnip?and a whip...wow...wish I remembered all that.After looking everywhere for my shirt I finally opened a closet door and there I was...in my own bedroom, a can of aqua net in one hand and an empty bottle of vodka in the other....?
Stay tuned for Part Two of the Drunken Narnia Chronicles -- Prince Gasp-ian (aka Iron Man)?-Cums Again?---where I completely degrade the opposite gender but it's ok because I was?trashed at the time.So now the obligatory questions...not because I give a rats ass about your opinion but because I need comments to rank.Does getting drunk every night and having sex with random strangers make me an alcoholic, slut, a douche bag or all 3?Does anyone know where the nearest free clinic is?
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| Does anyone know where the nearest free clinic is?
?Dickclaimer: If any dicks are reading this you should definitely take it personally because I am most likely?ridiculing you, your lifestyle and your exaggerated and idiotic blogs. |
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Last Updated ( Thursday, 17 July 2008 )
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